Every time I spent some time in my room alone all by myself, I would reflect, and thing about the meaningful things that I had done on that certain day, and the amount of time wasted on other not necessary stuff like gaming. It had came clearly to my attention that controlling yourself is harder than controlling others, I have absolutely poor control of myself. I regretted each time, after feeding myself to gaming, that it was just a waste of time. To thing about it that it is true, gaming is just the moment of happiness you get and after that, that’s it, the feeling is gone. I told myself to have just that little bit of self-control, but each time I just fall back to my own senses and started gaming. Now there is just 3 things in my mind, which that would be study, piano, and gaming. Am I just too stressed out or I am not aware of me already being stressed up. First, lets talk about studies, prelim 1 is coming closer each day, and so is the threatening and powerful O’level. I am still in my own dreamland, thinking that time is still on my side, and giving myself false believes that the days are still long. But not any longer. Each day of my life passed quicker and quicker, like a flick of the fingertips, yet another day had just passed. Or its like a gust of strong wind blew passed, and its tomorrow. My mind is in a state of confusion; there are too many subjects to study for, to perfect each and every one of them, to cover up all the topics that had been done, and to patch up the holes left behind. All the subjects, from English all the way to bio, to me they are all undone, and those memorising subjects, like elect history, social studies, Chemistry, Biology, all theses are giving me pain. How do you expect a normal size brain to remember all of these at once? My brain would just give up and burst. Now that I had aid in my studies by my side, I am still half confident. Aid as in the new tutor I get, my father had willingly requested for my cousin to guide me, and today’s the first lesson together. He is 21 and looks much more matured than me. So the lesson went quite smoothly I can say. Moving on, my piano, this is my headache number 2, I am taking my diploma next year around June to September, currently I am behind schedule as planed by my teacher, I should finished learning all 4 pieces of songs by the end of this month, however, true enough, I had finished learning all of them, but is it even up to my standard? Can I do better than that? Now my playing does not even sound as if I am a grade 8 student. How ashamed that can be? My pieces are all not fluent, especially the romantic Chopin piece, Nocturne in E, slips everywhere, flows are not smooth enough, sounds like elephant stomping, so chunky, full of bad comments. Yes, I know all these, but did I do anything to correct it? Yes, just keep practicing. Practising should not be fun, it meant to be a torture, but you would reap the sole and get the fruits of your labour once you work hard. Yes, I know all theses, and to confess, I am pure lazy. To compare, piano and studies with gaming, which is better? Which is more appealing? Which would ruin your? It’s easy to say, but it’s hard to make the right choice. Get in control with my brain, let my thinking and my actions work together, and bring out the better me. The angel goes to sleep and the devil within me plays. That’s not the way it should be, is it? I can’t just slack off. Look at Woon Ngiap, I think he is trying, but am I even trying? Have I already given up? No way man, no way.

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my closest beloved friends.
{♥} DarrynNg
{♥} JustinLim
{♥} JunWei
{♥} WoonNgiap
{♥} DZS
{♥} Damian
{♥} EvanAsavaAree
{♥} Wenxuan
{♥} CheeHang
{♥} Sherrie

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